white_van_death (white_van_death) wrote,

Been a while...

I'll admit it's been a while and I think all my friends stopped looking and posting a few years ago.

A fair amount happened since I last posted so let's get the list done.

My Father passed away a couple of years ago now. I'm still trying to cope with this loss and has been a big distraction in my life. My Dad's birthday is a reminder that he's gone and reminds me of the death of someone who I looked up to like an older brother died this day was well. I tried to get over it but my dad and myself were close and it's difficult.

My current girlfriend (7 years I believe now?) doesn't seem to understand it and I don't know how to explain it either. Losing family is not like the cat she lost. Yeah, it sucks but it's nowhere near there same.

I'm on vacation at my sister's place and have been treated nothing but like a king around here. I plan to make dinner tomorrow night and hope all goes well.

After being at my sister's the plan was to go to my Uncle Allan's place for a week. But Jeanne (the "new girlfriend") who told me didn't want to see her family changed her mind half way here while on our 25 hour drive. This throws problems now into my plans that I made with my family of how long I'm staying with them. I told her that she HAD to have dates they were free before we left to go on this trip. I'm trying to think of how to explain to her nicely "you are fucking with the original plan and my psychologist said seeing my family is a good form of recovery for me". As much as I want to be blunt to her about the situation, it just makes things awkward. Now I have figure out "why?" That she wants this now. What changed from you REFUSING to want to see then to wanting to stress me out to do this.

If you have not figured this out yet, I'm not working and trying to do recovery where I'm not as depressed and panicky about situations that ended up in stone and answers from her prior to leaving. Which she told me that seeing her family is not needed to be done at all.

I have taken my medications that will help me sleep (I hope) and will have to leave my rant there. I'm sorry for not exactly being interesting. But it's what I got and its ripping my brain apart.

Those with depression, I wish you well to fight and get better.

Thanks to anyone who reads this!
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